Ok, first the good(ish) news: I kind of admire Matthew McConaughey because he figured out how to be the richest career beach bum stoner I know of. So I find this less offensive than endearing:

The shirt- and often shoe-averse Matthew McConaughey is gearing up to launch his own line of swimwear and other beach accoutrements this summer, developing the line under his j.k. livin brand, so named after his personal mantra—”the j’s for just, the k’s for keep, no g cause life’s a verb“—which already encompasses a production company and record label.

(I really don’t understand the part about the “g”, by the way.)

According McConaughey’s rep, the new line will include swimsuits, T-shirts, Frisbees and “everything and anything you need for the beach.”

In much more offensive celeb landfill design news, Avril Lavigne’s new line of clothing for Khol’s (vomit) is due in July:

“It’s rock glam: fun, colorful, young and edgy,” Avril Lavigne says of her new clothing line in the latest of Us Weekly, on newsstands now.

Abbey Dawn, named after the nickname her dad calls her, will debut at Kohl’s stores nationwide in July.

The threads (ranging from $24 to $48) mimic the “Complicated” singer’s signature skater-girl-chic style and include hoodies, jeans and tees in bright colors and skull and zebra patterns.

Oh, I’m sorry, excuse me. What I meant to say is that I don’t think anyone should take guidance from this person on how to dress, especially when it means swathing yourself in—ever more—cheap pieces of shit.

End rant.