This Week in the Mercury


Friday, March 2, 2012

Yoga Pu-Pu Platter: barre 3 Southeast

Posted by Courtney Ferguson on Fri, Mar 2, 2012 at 4:28 PM

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A continuation of a yoga-class sampler series, where I flit about town using my Passport to Prana card ($30 for over two dozen individual yoga classes around town).

Totes intended to go to the barre3 location in the Pearl, but the easy walk home from the Southeast spot (2523 SE 22nd) lured me in. Because much like last week, I'm kinda lazy when it comes to Thursdays. I do a boot camp in the morning on Mt. Tabor, so I'm pretty spent by the end of the day and I have a couple intense workouts on Fridays and Saturdays, so I find myself looking for something chillaxing on Thursdays. So I really had NO BUSINESS being at a barre3 class. The local company describes its workouts thusly:

barre3 evolves the dancer's workout by combining the grace of the ballet barre with the wisdom of yoga and the strength of Pilates. barre3 classes are set to an upbeat soundtrack and follow a vigorous pace moving through a sequence of postures designed to shape and lift the entire body.

They neglected to mention how hard it would be in that description. The upbeat instructor set me up with a litany of props (a squishy ball, yoga mat, yoga strap, and small hand weights), cranked up some Adele, and plopped me in front of a vast room-sized mirror. There's nothing worse than staring at your grimacing reflection for an entire hour-long workout. Then for an interminable amount of time we flapped our wings, and stretched our legs to the heavens on ballet bars, while the instructor chirped encouragement into her headset, "Tap, tap, tap, tap those booties. Suck in that stomach. Tap, tap, tap those toes to the ceiling." I had dreams of Little Miss Vicki's tap class. It was a sort of cumulative pain, deceptively easy at first with minimal movements, which became increasingly more difficult. We also did a lot of squishy ball squeezing with our ankles, thighs, and back. My abs are sore today, as are my inner thighs, and my booty's been sufficient tapped (heh). The space itself is quite nice, with a kid corral in front where children are imprisoned in a happy, fun zone, and the studio is large and open, with room-framing ballet bars and elaborate skylights overhead that enabled me to explore the cosmos whilst in a dizzying amount of oblique-crunching pain. I'd recommend it, especially for former dancers, as it's sort of a melange of aerobics, pilates, and ballet. I'd also recommend standing in the back so you don't have to see every sweaty, gross pore on your face in the ginormous mirror while you're grunting along to Madonna.

Next week: Root (because that complementary sauna sounds fan-fucking-tastic).

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