I’m a man in his 40s and my partner is in their 30s and non-binary. We’ve been together for three years and officially living together for about a year. Things have been a little tumultuous during that time, due to issues with my kids, my kids’ mom, and my own fears about compatibility and commitment. She (my partner) is demanding “relationship milestones” that signify my commitment to her. Previous significant milestones, like becoming official, moving in together, her meeting my kids, etc., were “sullied” (and are therefore invalidated somehow) because they weren’t executed with enough “enthusiasm” or “careful planning.” I would very much like to give her the milestones she craves, but aside from popping the question — and I’m definitely not ready for that! — I’m struggling to come up with “milestones” that would be of sufficient significance. And when I ask for examples, all I get are ideas I’m not ready for, like getting married or getting a cat.

Moving In Lacked Emotional Significance

First and most importantly: the pronoun situation...

Click here to read the rest of this week's Mini Savage Love (free-to-all).